So I've left this blog go fallow for far too long. I really don't have the time to do anything with it, but I really should find a place to put this psychic energy.
I'm back in school now, and realize that my ability to tolerate bureaucratic bullshit is less now than it was when I was 20. I often wonder if the pounding in my skull is a vessel about to burst or if it's just a warning from my body that I'm getting too spun up. Maybe it's both.
This aging thing is befuddling to me. I'm both horrified that I'm getting older and haven't seemed to manage to accomplish anything the world would notice and then I'm also settling into my skin I guess. I'm more comfortable with my quirks and the things about me that I found so odd and "not normal" as a younger woman that now, frankly, I think are pretty damn cool. I'm much cooler than I appear and I like that.
And still I have this feeling that there is a change coming fairly soon. I don't know what it will be but it's going to be good. I don't know why I think that but I'm going to embrace it while it lasts. I so rarely have feelings of optimism.
This has been a year of growth and change for me in many ways. I've shed off the husks of friendships that were sapping and tiresome. Not that it was easy of course, but sometimes you find out that you've outgrown a friendship and there is nothing else that can be done except cut it off. Of course, it would have been nice to know that was going to be necessary before I spent money heading out on a "vacation" with my friend only to find out that she wasn't who I thought she was all these years. I could have used that money to go elsewhere.
Travel. Man I have the wanderlust. I want to go to New England and visit so much that I'm looking for ways to make it happen. Nevermind the fact that I have 3 kids and a small zoo here at the house! An well.
OK so that's it for this entry. Not very bitchy I guess. But I'm sure something will happen today that gets that vein on my forehead throbbing.
